This is a topic near and dear to the midwife heart! Midwives are very aware that who you invite to your birth ( and especially your Homebirth) has a great impact on your experience. I have attended births where a mom was solo because her husband was deployed and the doula didn’t make it on time. I have attended births where the mom said at 8 cm to the 6 people observing her sitting in a row on the sectional sofa, “hey guys do you need popcorn? Are you enjoying the show?”
These are two extremes of course…We view birth as important, if not more important than the day you get married, so being careful about who is in your private space is imperative. Not having enough support can make things difficult. Having too many folks just there to watch can interfere with the flow of your experience.
The first thing to consider when formulating your team is who you are as a person. How do you deal with pain or emotion? Do you prefer to deal with stress on your own or do you like to lean on others?
Obviously most humans need others to help them through things but some women really rely on a larger social circle for comfort. For some people, being alone is unpleasant. Other women prefer to get quiet and meditative and go within to work through things. They might find the buzz of other people overwhelming when they are hurting or stressed.
I really advocate for a combination of both for a first time mother. With second and subsequent babies, there is of course is more flexibility.
The other thing to consider is the role of each person in your space. There are lots of things to do in labor to support the process. Someone should be in charge of making sure the mom eats and drinks. Someone needs to get other things ready for the baby (make the bed, keep things tidy, prepare food) and one or two people should be able to take turns providing continuous labor support. A team of 3 plus your care providers is usually a good number. You can invite more people to ebb and flow as needed but having more than 3 people in your immediate space can be overwhelming.
